Forgotten
by bluetac
Summary: 'She had full control and it made him weak'. A slightly physcotic Malak and a redemed Revan romance. Follows Kotor storyline. LSF Revan/Malak.
1. Chapter 1

**So the majority of the dialogue isn't mine nor is the story or it's characters. Rated T because I don't want kids reading such evilness.**

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><p><em>As he watched her sleep he could not harm her. Although he wanted to.<em>

_When she was close to him he changed, he felt a smile on his lips and a twinkle in his grey eyes, and he reverted into a young man, a happy man, one madly in love and desperate to do anything for her. Willing to obey like a dog and worship like a slave, she had full control and it made him weak._

_When she was gone however, a dull metal slab had replaced his smile, and dead eyes the colour of bile looked back at him. He let the darkness creep back in; in the mirror he did not see a happy man, only a monster. One who loathed her to the very core of his ugly soul and wanted only to be free of her. But he knew just as well as she did, he could never be free. She was poison. She made him weak._

_He had contemplated her murder, he would be in charge of the galaxy, he would never feel humiliated by her again, he could be unstoppable; the idea made him excited, made him feel strong. He waited for her to enter his quarters that night, naked and alone she would be all too vulnerable. But when he saw her, everything he had crumbled, his plots, his power and he was only a boy lying in the grass with an angel._

_As he watched her sleep, he decided he could not harm her up close. He doubted he was strong enough but most importantly he doubted he wanted to. Outside his company she was the brilliant, cold darkness, all who lay eyes on her felt horror and adoration. It made them weak. But in his arms lay a tender, warm woman who did not flinch at the sight of his exposed deformity and instead promised love, power and the stars. It made her weak._

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><p><em>The bed was cold, too cold. He couldn't stop himself from shivering. He couldn't bring himself to invite another into his bed, none of them were angels. Sometimes he would close his eyes and lie to himself that she was there, he just couldn't hear her, feel her or touch her. Sometimes he would open his eyes and she was there, smiling at him, she looked like she did before the war, innocent and beautiful. But she always faded away all too quickly and he was alone once again.<em>

_He remembered once they had been equals, it wasn't until the taint came that her easy superiority to him became obvious and their positions seemed to fall into place. They had always been best friends for as long as he could remember and he could recall a time when every corner of their minds were open to each other. They loved and accepted each other completely. Now he sees her in everything he does. He use to feel so safe and warm in her company and he knew with the deepest conviction in his heart that she did too._

_He asked himself many times why she chose him, he would not believe it was the force, and often wondered if she looked towards somebody else where would he be. Perhaps he would be one of the Jedi who resisted her Sith rule or did he die in the Mandolarian wars or did he wither away, lonely and lost in a dream because he knew she chose him but he was always destined to love her. Maybe they were never equal._

_Was this regret he had been feeling?_

_Out conquering the galaxy one would not think so nor would he. He felt the closest to alive that a dead soul could feel upon destroying worlds and murdering millions. He was now the master, people looked upon him with dread and reverence, and he was king. But alone, the dark corners of his mind which she once kept safe now hailed his room and haunted it. Everywhere her ghost was smiling lovingly and laughing, comforting. Sometimes he would find her in her trademark mask and armour; filled with rage she could make him, such a large man so small. What was this apparition haunting him, this dark side trick? Or had the darkness finally made him mad? Her words would echo the room even after her ghost was gone, and nightmares of the day she fully accepted the darkness possessed him. The day she felt cold, the day her eyes changed and the day she almost beat him to death._

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><p>I find myself storming the halls of the Leviathan. I feel her everywhere, it's suffocating, her fingerprint left by the force on everything, it's intoxicating. I'm beginning to feel sick with rage at the thought of her, what they've done to her and what she's done to herself. She thinks she can change; it's too pathetic. I always knew she was weak.<p>

My skin begins to burn as I enter the elevator, I've dreamed of seeing her for too long, finishing her, breaking her. I must prove to her once and for all that she meant nothing, she was and is nothing; she is simply a pawn between me and the council, she is weak.

Ever since rumors of her return began, the question of keeping her or killing her torments me. She torments me. If I kill her she won't leave me alone, just as the ghosts begin their departure, the simple mention of her name sends them racing back. I thought they were gone forever but now every day I hear "Revan, Revan, Revan." But she is too dangerous to keep. Even so the knowledge that I could go to her whenever I wanted makes me sick and very dizzy. As the elevator doors open, I realize she is minutes away from me; I have waited so long to prove myself, my skin tingles at the idea of her and the electricity buzzes at my fingertips. I use my passion to call upon the dark side for strength and composure; I must prove myself to her.

The doors slide open and as I march forwards three figures rush towards me but all freezing in horror at the sight of me. I stand tall, my chest is proud and I am so ugly. It takes a moment for me to recognize her, my heart rises and feels as if it is on verge of bursting, and she is so lovely. The markings of the dark side have left her, now she glows, her aura is so clear, the light is swirling through her veins and it wouldn't take a fiend like me to see that she is an angel again. She looked like she did before the war, innocent and beautiful. But I am not weak.

"Darth Malak." Batila declares her voice dripping with disgust held by a stern, hard face. A brown haired man attempts to shoot me roaring "Down you go!" impulsively I deflect his shots and with the force flick him to the ground, like a summer ant on the picnic table and I laugh richly. I saw distress wash over Revan at this man's fall, she attempted to hide it as he rose but I am no fool and I memorized every corner of her mind; this is where her affection lies. What could a puny, ant of a man do to deserve an angel?

"I hope you weren't thinking of leaving so soon Bastilla." I sneer allowing a growl in my mechanical tongue to surface "I've spent far too much hunting down you and your companions, to let you get away from me now." My gaze never left Revan. "Besides I had to see for myself if it was true. Even now I can hardly believe my eyes." I felt her presence in the force tremble in terror but her face remained solid with her eyes holding mine, like so many times before, I have watched men brake under that stare, I have been broken. This time I did not waver. "Tell me," I mock "Why did the jedi spare you? Is it vengeance you seek at this reunion?" A frown creased her face and it took her moment to realize I was speaking to her. She looked at me in sincere confusion "Reunion? What are you talking about?"

"What? You mean you don't know?" I laugh wickedly "All this time and you still haven't figured it out?" Could she be so foolish, has my little strategist has fallen so far? "I wonder how long you would have stayed blind to the truth. Surely some of what you once were must have surfaced by now." My confidence grew in my knowledge that she did not remember us; she does not remember all that I gave her in weakness or what lay in the corners of my mind, I have the advantage and she is weak. "Even the combined power of the Jedi council could not keep your true identity buried forever, could it?"

And I watched as it began to unfold in her mind. The realization had begun crashing down on her and she could not hide her fear. I even allowed some of my memories to flow into hers but only the worst and most vile ones. "You cannot hide from what you once were, Revan!" I found it difficult to say her name, as if lifting an object of great weight so it came out with an effective force "Recognize that you were once the Dark Lord and know that I have taken your place." It felt so good to finally issue authority over her.

"No," she stumbled, shaking her head "You're just a liar."

"You do not yet remember Revan? The jedi set a trap; they lured us into battle against a small republic fleet. During the attack a team of jedi knights boarded your ship. The jedi strike time captured you and the council used the force to reprogram your mind. They wiped away your identity and turned you against their own followers."

"No," She said again defiantly "I won't believe you, Malak!"

At my name, my heart stopped, the poison settled in and I felt alive again. It strikes me how she has no idea the power of the weapon she just used, it was always her favourite. "You must have seen flashed of your old life in your dreams, Revan. Memories, bubbling up to the surface. Surely, you must remember the battle in which you were captured?" I waited patiently and observed how her forehead creased amusingly as she sought for an answer. Eventually she bit her lip and asked tentatively "Why wouldn't the Jedi simply kill me?"

"The Jedi are fools." I promptly snapped "They do not believe in executing prisoners. Originally I assumed you died in the battle. Imagine my surprise when I found out you were still alive, Revan," and my revulsion, causing a bitter and syrupy confusion twisting my every action and decision reminding me of my weakness.

"Do you really mean I'm really..." she inhaled deeply before stammering with her eyebrows raised "your master?"

"Once I served you, Revan. But I always knew that one day the title of Dark Lord would be mine. When the Jedi strike time boarded your vessel, I saw my day had come. I ordered my own ships to fire on your bridge; I thought I could destroy all my enemies with a single glorious victory. I never dreamed the Jedi would take you alive from the wreckage."

"But why did you betray…your master?"

"You mean why did I betray you, Revan. You were the one who taught me the ways of the Sith; the strongest must rule if we are to survive. You knew I would one day challenge you for supremacy but you underestimated me. I acted sooner than you expected and seized the Sith throne with a single brilliant stroke! How you survived the final battle is a mystery to me. Perhaps you should ask Bastila; after all she was part of the Jedi strike team that captured you."

"Bastila, tell me this isn't true."

"It's true. I was part of the team sent to capture Revan…To capture you. When Malak fired on the ship you were badly injured we thought you were dead. Your mind was destroyed but I used the force to preserve the flicker of life within your body. I brought you to the Jedi council. They were the ones who healed your damaged mind."

"But my past, my family, my friends, my memories, my home they all are so real."

"The Jedi council didn't restore your wounded mind Revan. They merely programmed it with a new identity – one loyal to the Republic. They needed to make you their slave," my laughter cut over the uncomfortable silence that had now fallen over the three companions, who I imagine had grown fond of each other. Too fond.

To my surprise Revan collected herself and seemed taller than before. "I don't care about the council, while this changes a lot about me, it doesn't change one thing about you. You are still a threat to the safety of this galaxy that must be stopped."

"I was wrong." I said flatly, her surprise was evident "You haven't changed at all." I allowed a memory between us, of the day she decided to join the Mandolorian Wars, the words she chose were too familiar and I could see, like neither one of her companions how it hurt her. Like one mind we whipped out our lightsabers synchronously. Weary of their unwelcome presence, I froze her companions in stasis; I wanted to see what she could do. Two blades of green and blue sparkled at me, funny in my mind she hadn't chosen the exact same colours and blades as before. Nevertheless I was not the same and her green and blue is no match for my red. We circle each other for quite some time; both of us are too cautious, too timid, too weak. It is I who takes the first charge, she sidesteps, and on the same note spinning on her heel to swing at me, I twist fast enough to block it. Our sabers crossed it's now a test of strength rather than one of patience. With my huge form I always surpassed her in raw physical strength and she is forced to bounce backwards as fast as she can to avoid a fatal blow. To my surprise she conjures a crooked blaze of violet from her hands in an attempt to shock or perhaps paralyze me; an uncommon and ineffective choice of weapon for one who walks the light path. _You have not changed in any way, my old friend_. I whispered into her mind causing her to stumble momentarily, providing me with the opportunity to take a swing at her ribs but she deflects it without thought. I resolve to show her, like she showed me, how much more the darkside can offer. With two hands I summon a great storm of lightning causing her body to convulse and jerk. Her screams rip through the hallway like fire, stirring distress in her companions but I take pleasure in the sweet symphony of her pain. Upon releasing her she pulls herself off the floor and stands to face me. Again our blades dance together, and we enter the famous tug of war, we drive each other backwards and forwards, every piece of ground one of us loses, we quickly regain. I realize with my heart beat drumming and throbbing round my head and the sweat on my cheeks that I may be unable to match her endurance. Our heads snap towards the sound of Bastila's paralysis cage shattering, she snaps her blades open and bounces over to us. Through the force she pulls Revan beside the brown haired man and takes Revan's place to challenge me, she screams "Run!" And before Revan could disobey her the doors slam shut.

We waste no time and we both impatiently dive into battle. Amazed at how weak she was compared to Revan, I had her throat in my hands within minutes. She struggled and squirmed and I laughed at her pitiful attempts at freedom. "Pathetic," I sneer and she spits in my face. "You will soon realize the potential of true and untamed power of the force. You will no longer be weak and you'll soon become so much more."

"You're a fool, Malak, I will never turn. Revan will come back for me and like she promised, we will stop you." I swing my head back in laughter.

"You have no idea whats waiting for you, do you? If you believe you can resist then you are the fool. You will be my dog before the week is done."

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><p><strong>I hope you liked it, please review, it's the best thing. But I'm really stuck I don't know where I'm going with this to be honest. I could keep it Malak and keep it all very intense or I could let you see what's going on in Revan's mind etc? Otherwise I'll take forever deciding and the world desperately needs more RevanMalak, they are the best.**


	2. Chapter 2

_Revan_

I wonder the halls aimlessly, I raise my arm so that my fingertips my graze the rough, familiar texture of the Ebon hawk. Before I can think it, I hear myself say "I remember," as a patch of darkness in my mind lifts, a strange sense of joy overwhelms me and I laugh "I remember!" I begin desperately to search my mind and tightly grasp, that warm and precious image that came to me so suddenly but a low, quiet voice interrupts me. "What do you remember?" my heart jolts violently in my chest. I turn to see the friend I've grown to care for so deeply. His handsome face searches mine and I realise how much I've missed him. "I had a ship," despite how nervous I am I can't hold back a little chime of delight and excitement in my voice. To my disappointment he frowns at me like a silly child "Of course you did. How else did you expect to conquer the galaxy?" I wish he didn't immediately think of me as the Dark Lord. I know that it is more significant than anything I've ever done or will do but I wish to the force, to a God, to anyone that he didn't think of me like that.

"No." I breathe so quietly I'm not sure if he heard me "No, this was before."

"Before?" he asks his voice full of interest and something strange that sounds like hope

"Yes," I smile with the uncontrollable chime returning "When I first joined the Mandolorian wars, the republic gave me a ship." I close my eyes, demanding more from my mind. "It wasn't very large but I remember the pride I felt. All I had ever owned was my lightsaber and my robes but this ship represented our rebellion and this new found feeling of liberty and freedom. We could make a difference, we could save people, we were finally taking action after so long." I allow myself to meet his gaze "I was so young. I remember feeling so determined and passionate. I think I was incredibly headstrong and stupid." This provokes a light chuckle from him and I can't help but smile "But I think I was right. I felt it in my heart then and I do now, that we needed to be there with the republic. It was supposed to be that way." I pause before continuing "I think it was the force." He nods gently and whispers "I think so too." Silence falls over us, it represents his long-standing bitterness for the Sith, for me. It represents the friendship we had, I saved his ass more times than one could count, even then we still didn't realise what it meant. It represents this heaviness in my heart, the overgrowth of misery and guilt, the blood of innocent men, women and children stained my hands and my heart an ugly shade of scarlet. It represents how lonely the world became in the last few weeks.

"Carth I-"

"No." he says suddenly, tearing all hope in my heart into pieces "No, I need to apologize. You…I was, um, irrational, I wasn't over the shock and I took it out on you. I know you, you're my friend. You're only capable of love and I …I'm sorry." He rubs his forehead and sighs heavily. "I can't hate you, I've tried. I wanted to be angry; I wanted to blame you for… my wife, for Telos, for Dustil. But I can't"

I let go the breath I'd been holding and I affirm with a nod "I'm glad."

"I thought when I killed Saul, it would finally allow me to let go of this… pain that's been haunting me. But it didn't. Do you-" he stopped suddenly, looking embarrassed he bit his lip unable to meet my gaze he stared at the floor "Do you remember the promise I made to you?"

"How could I not?"

"Well…That's it. That's what's allowing me to let go. All I can think of is protecting you. Despite the darkness inside you that belonged to Revan, it's not you. You… I can't hate you. You can be so much more than Revan and that makes me not want revenge anymore.

You have this huge destiny waiting and I just fear alone it could swallow you whole. I mean, is there room in there for me? Will you let me help you?"

"I won't have you hurt protecting me."

"I think I'd be hurt worse if I didn't try."

"What do you mean?"

"Everything that we've been through has been the build up until now. You're going to be faced with a choice. When you spoke about your life before, it makes me realise that you were always there, you weren't just made by the council, there was always you, passionate, determined, headstrong and incredibly stupid." We both share a smile but his face falls slowly into a harsh frown and he ages ten years in ten seconds. "But something must have gone wrong, for you to go and Revan to come. You must have made the wrong choice. But this time, I want you to make the right choice. I want to give you a reason to."

"But-" with a shaky breath I inhale, so terrified of the memories and truth behind my words "What if I make the wrong choice again?"

"Then I hope I can save you. From yourself," to my astonishment he reaches out with both hands and takes both my hands in to a warm, tender grip and it feels right. "After everything we've been through, you've given me a future. I want to give you a future, too…with me. I think I could love you if you give me the chance." I feel as if I may be dreaming. I feel as if I'll wake up and he will return to being cold again, oh force I never want him to be like that again.

"I think I could love you too." A wide toothy grin spread across his face "Well, then I'm glad, let's face the future together. I mean there's still a lot to do."

"I think we'll be alright." I say softly

"I think so too, beautiful." He gently pulls me into a warm embrace, my ear to his chest I can hear the gentle melody of his heart beat and his arms around me, I feel safe. Despite the chaos, war and death we may face, everything in this moment feels so right. I close my eyes and allow my heart to sing with happiness.

Something about the way he holds me begins to feel wrong and that strange, strange sense of joy returns but somehow uglier. It's as if Carth is gone from me and I'm surrounded by darkness but I can feel so very strongly, as if the truth is greater than anything I have ever known, that I am not alone. I remember my ship, the one I had in the Mandolarian wars. I see myself walking into a large room with data pads and maps sprawled across a large table. Opposite me sits a surprisingly handsome man, deep in thought over a data pad. Even though he is sitting down I can see his large build. He looks up at me with a smile on his lips and a twinkle in his grey eyes. I don't know why it took me so long to recognise the tattoos on his head but to my horror he walks over to me, takes his hands in mine and quietly says "Hey, beautiful."

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><p><em><span>Malak<span>_

My heart beat drums in my chest with anticipation as I gaze at my masterpiece fleet from the comfort of my Star forge. She will be here soon, and it will all come to an end. That day will mark the end of the Republic, the end of Revan and the beginning of one galaxy, united under one glorious name. Malak. I attempt to suppress the boy inside me. The boy who can smile is begging me to find a way to save her; he's begging me to let her go. Such a fool, he should know only one of us may live, he should know that she does not care about him anymore, she can't even remember him. Lightning strikes my heart as the truth I speak to the boy turns back to mock me. She does not remember me. Our love, when it was once noble and innocent had blossomed from the unbreakable friendship of two dreamy children, into a wildfire of unearthly passion and sincere devotion. That love drove us to the most extreme depths, that drag and pinch at my heart to think about, and those depths guided us through the walk of madness. All that I have lived for, since before I can remember is gone to her. I am just part of the void in her mind, our overwhelming love affair lost into darkness. The boy and I cling onto to a vacant space, emptiness formed from her absence and ignorance. He will not make me weak.

I sharply turn and begin my march to the bridge, I may no longer waste time on what was and is gone, I must be very careful with what is to come. Of course she will meet me in the Star forge, where she will hope to destroy my fleet and bring victory to the republic; I can remember my little hero very well. But that will not be so; I have prepared waves of my most fierce Sith troopers and Dark Jedi, along many little traps of the Star Forge's very own pets to provide her various entertainments on her journey to me. She will not best me, never again. I was always the superior but the weakness in my heart caused me falter and I fell obediently into the position of her pet. The adoring pet, who she would beat and humiliate in front of an army of soldiers but the one she would call on for comfort and affection in private. A fire twists and chokes in my chest at the thought of it, she will regret with every inch of her soul ever believing she could ever suppress my power. I am the master; I always was and will be.

To my delight I find my new pet obediently awaiting my command. "Master, I have begun writing the script of programming I remembered from the-" I slap her sharply.

"Do not speak unless you are spoken to, girl." I bark at her, Bastilla nods quickly not uttering a whimper, such a good dog. "The republic will be here soon." I say as I gaze out of the window full with pride at the glory of my fleet. "I expect you to put your battle meditation to good use. Should you encounter Revan you may defeat her in combat but I do not give you permission to kill her, bring her to me, understood?"

"Yes, master." She answers coolly, before narrowing her eyes in deep thought.

"Pay attention to me when I speak to you." I hiss, my mechanical voice chocking in anger. An unexpected look of guilt washes over her. I know it well, the guilt of a wayward child, she will need further training. "Go, I've had enough of you." At that she scrabbles away, to finally leave me in peace.

The simple hum, clicking and cheeping of the bridge's electronics calm my thoughts and allow me to plan. Until an overpowering force rages through my body and drives a memory so vividly my mind, I almost believed it was real. I remember the petty little ship Revan and I were given by the republic in the Mandolarian wars. Small and swift, it was excellent for navigating through war territories quietly but compared to the magnificence and splendour we would soon come to know, it was a floating pile of garbage. However Revan adored it and she quickly infected me too. It was our first stepping stone after rebelling against the counsel, we had never been so free, all the rules and codes that had bound and crippled us for so long were gone, we were King and Queen on that ship. And on that floating pile of garbage our forbidden, precious, overwhelming, love affair didn't have to be a secret anymore. The smell of old fuel and plastic return to me and bring with it waves of nostalgia, the ship's hum is clumsy compared to the eloquence of the leviathan and the walls are formed from grey, slops of junk metal. I am drawn to a specific day where I find myself reading reports the main hold, with a dull white light looming over a table of data pads and incomplete maps. I relive the frustration and anxiety caused by suffering the consequences of a battle and preparing for my next, as well as the toll of the ships uncomfortable chairs. I was so naive and stupid; I did not take risks, sacrificing victory for the worthless lives of my troops.

I look up and I find it so hard to believe that she is in front of me smiling. She is so beautiful. The clad of metal that weighs on my face is gone, I can't even feel it, instead my face feels light and on my lips I have the wonderful sensation that I am grinning at her like a fool. I walk over to her and I take her hands in my own. The touch of her skin sends a burning rush up my arms and through my entire body, the words "Hey beautiful," leave my lips in a whisper from a voice I thought lost me. "I missed you," she tenderly murmurs in return. The alien sound of my laughter fills the room with more magic "Oh, I know! It's been too long, my love. Breakfast feels like forever ago." I pull her closer to me, her body is pressed up against mine and her arms slide around my waist, the burning rush diligently returns to send my whole body alight with a mad desire. I hope so desperately to feel her lips softly on mine again, that sweet perfection that made everything right, even once we were wrong. But I am unwillingly awoken from my dream by a noise behind me of a minor situation on the bridge.

I know now she is close. Her presence was with me in that forgotten memory and there is a dark emptiness as she leaves it. So my memory is not lost to her and our bond, the one forged as children, is stronger and more alive than it ever was. She will be here soon, she will be mine again and she will be punished.

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><p><strong>Really stuck if I should keep it cannonish and only have a few more chapters and Malak dies (by Revan of course) keeping it short and sweet or I should do these crazy ass alternate ending and drag it out more idk. What do you think? I realize I'm ruining the surprise but I figured let you decide is fun, i like reader input better than anything. Like this was originally just going to be Malak but hey! change is good.<strong>


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